The Serval Zippers Sign

Pardon the pun…

I think this just stinks on ice.

Metsblog is reporting that Ruben Gotay has been put on waivers. Yeah, I know he doesn’t hit lefties, seemingly — which seems to be the Mets’ crisis du jour among the media — he can’t field a lick, he’s out of options and he’s spent most of spring training hurt, but geeze! When he’s on, the guy can flat out rake. Some other team will claim him right away, you can bet.

And he’ll be replaced by whom, you ask?

Fernando Tatis.

Yeah, you heard me right: Fernando Tatis.

Memo to Willie & Omar: THAT SHIP SAILED 5 FRIKKEN YEARS AGO!

I can’t understand this fetish the braintrust has about washed up, broken down players. Long gone are the days of the Mets being –in Jimmy Breslin’s ancient words — “just like the WPA: they give everybody a chance.” So why have we had to endure the likes of Gerald Williams, Ricky Ledee, Michael Tucker, Jeff Conine and of course, Lima Time! ? All at the expense of players like Gotay, Victor Diaz, Lastings Milledge and Phillip Humber.

Anyway, Godspeed Ruben. I wish you nothing but the best. Unless, of course, you hook on with the Braves, Phillies or Yankees. In that case, you’re dead to me…

Disappointing thoughts triggered by rumblings from PSL. It appears increasingly that Duaner Sanchez will indeed be left in Florida to build up his stamina.

That’s not the disturbing part.

Who’s in line to fill Sanchez’s slot on the roster, then, you ask? Why, the immortal Brian Stokes, of course.

Oy…

I don’t know what it is. It might be the Tampa Bay pedigree, it might be a marked inability to generate outs on a consistent basis, maybe I just don’t like his face. But everytime I see his name in a box score, all I can think of is Guillermo Mota.

You heard me.

Where have I been?

Well, took a little Easter break from the blogosphere, that’s where.

Sarah & I went out and got that computer upgrade we talked about — a Gateway 500 gig jobby with a 19″ monitor! I’ve been happily downloading and converting my CDs (boy! I have a lot of music…). Then on Saturday we had Easter dinner I at Sarah’s parents’ place along with my brother-in-law, sister-in-law and their kids. Then, on Sunday after Church, we went to Easter dinner II at my cousin Chrissie’s house in Long Beach. That one included all her siblings, their spouses and children and assorted in-laws.

It took me a full workday yesterday to recover…

So what have I missed?

El Duque and Pelfrey laid a couple of eggs on Easter. The 5th starter slot is now officially up in the air and a concern.

A concern to the media — but not to me — is that it looks like Duaner Sanchez may remain in Port St. Lucie after the team breaks camp. I call this a good move: he gets to build his stamina with no pressure on him. Though he’s gotta be sick of PSL by now (he’s been there since early November), it’s not like last year when he was actually injured and had no shot of pitching at all. This way, he may see Flushing around the middle-to-the-end of April. I’ll take it.

Meanwhile, on the offensive side, my friend Greg pines for the return of Jose! Reyes. So do I…

Mainly because yesterday was an off day.

Not much to write about. El Duque threw 80 pitches in 4 simulated innings. According to all reports, he wasn’t throwing hard enough to break an egg.

Mike Pelfrey was also simulatin’, but he was a bit more stimulatin’. (tm Walt Frazier)

The hamstrung catchers continue to stretch and rest…and stretch and rest…and stretch and rest…(cue Jack LaLane organ music)

But on a more important note, the countdown has begun. I’m fascianted to see who gets to turn the pages.

And having to give credit where credit is due, hats off to the Yankees for playing an exhibition at Virginia Tech to commemorate the 1 year anniversary of the shootings there — as well as a $1 million donation. Of course, I’m going against my natural inclination, which is to dismiss the appearance as a Steinbrennerian way of making David Wright — a VA Tech alum — look bad.

I must be off today…

Hmmm…

Looking to post about the spring success of the Mets’ starters, but what to call it and still appear clever?

There are any number of stock headlines I could use. Armed & Ready. Armed & Dangerous. Well Armed…

To impress those of a literary bent, I could use Arms & The Men, or if there’s a rash of injuries — God forbid! — Farewell To Arms.

We wish Duaner Sanchez had been in an “armoured” car 2 years ago. We hope the good folks at Aramark will sell Armour hot dogs…

OK, I’ve exhausted all logic.

Pedro Martinez appears to have taken that long road all the way back. John Maine hasn’t been touched in 3 games. Oliver Perez appears to have finally found himself. Mike Pelfrey is on the upswing of the learning curve. El Duque says he’ll pitch in a game ever. Johann Santana is Johann Santana. This starting staff has me starry-eyed for the season.

I say the over/under on wins by the starters is 73:

Santana 18
Pedro 12
Maine 16
Perez 15
Duque 4
Pelfrey 8

Throw in another 20 or so from the ‘pen and you’ve got a recipe for a sweet season.

Ahhhh…There’s my headline: From My Lips To God’s Ears.

Catchy…

Well not these two, apparently.

Castro & Schneider — The Hammy Brothers — both came up with the same injury at the same time. Both are the ever popular day-to-day, in classic Met fashion. If they’re worse than that, the opening day catcher might be Raul Casanova, backed up by Gustavo Molina — not of the famous (or infamous to Met fans) catching Molina brothers. It might be Alomar time, once again.

Meanwhile it would appear that Carlos Delgado is trying to form a splinter group. But seriously, folks…

Sarah and I took a spontaneous trip to my cousin Jim’s house in Long Beach. GOD, I love that place and those people. Watched the end of the Mets/Detroit game with Jim and his son — also Jim. We were indignant that Jamar Hill wasn’t awarded first base after taking a pitch off the hand from Orber Moreno. Home plate ump Travis Reininger (what the hell is a Travis Reininger???) called it foul. I wanted Willie to get run when he came out to argue and Jim, Sr., said “Well, he’d better have a fire under his ass.” and I said, “Yes, or he’ll find his ass fired!” Aren’t I clever?

We then had a pre-St. Patrick’s corned beef & cabbage dinner. Could not be beat!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all and may ye all be in heaven 20 minutes before the divil knows yer dead…

Driving to work this morning, I was listening to Boomer & Carton on the ‘FAN. They’re down in PSL (that’s Port St. Lucie, for those of you not in the loop) and are interviewing various & sundry Metsfolk. This morning, it was hitting coach and long-time fan fave Howard Johnson. They talked about the injury situation, which is obviously improving, as Beltran played center yesterday, Delgado is reporting no hip pain and Castillo is scheduled to play tomorrow.

What I found interesting, though, was when the conversation swung around to The Collapse — as Met conversations inevitably will for the next few months — and Jose Reyes’s role in it.

I think this is a critical, crossroads year in Jose’s career. I’m not talking about the dancing and woofing we’ve come to expect and — for the most part — enjoy and which apparently upsets some of the more sensitive types in the NL East. It’s more about style-of-play. HoJo was saying that since Reyes came up in 2003, the stereotypical leadoff hitter has gone from a the slappy, put-it-in-play, Luis Castillo type hitter, to someone who has decent power and can drive the ball to all fields — more the Rickey Henderson model. He seemed to think that Reyes got a little longball-happy at the end of last year, at the expense of using his natural gifts to get on base and shake things up once there. At the same time, you also can’t turn him into Terry Puhl. If he can balance the 2, he’ll be the elite player almost every Met fan believes he already is.

If not, well…I hate to think of it…

So I guess there will be no specualtion as to whether or not Joe Girardi is a “true Yankee:” yesterday, he showed the world that he most definitely is. Girardi moaned and groaned for 3 days about the play at the plate that cost his young catcher Francisco Cervelli a broken wrist at the hands of the Rays’ Elliott Johnson. OK, I can maybe give him a break for that. He doesn’t agree that a young kid might be out to impress his would-be manager by hustling into bangbanger at the plate? Fine. But to then praise his own guy for a clearly dirty, karate-like move and characterize it as “good, hard-nosed baseball” takes some chutzpah. This is just another example of “the Yankee way:” When we do it, it’s good hard baseball; when it’s done to us, it’s dirty. I’ve been hearing this schoolyard crap for over 30 years now. It’s the Steinbrennerian code. It goes right along with the sacks of cash and the infantile need to posess the shiniest toys on the shelf — the kind of stuff that makes Stewie Griffin look like a prime example of level-headed maturity.

Well, if nothing else, this should make for some lively action the 19 times they’ll play each other.

Then there was the hours-long rollercoaster ride that was the rumored trade between the Mets & Red Sox involving Angel Pagan & Coco Crisp. Turned out to be nothing, but it sure took a long time to get to nothing. The only rationale I can see for that move would have been if either they’d flip him somewhere else for a more substantial bat or they’d shift Carlos Beltran and his rusty wheels to left and install Coco as the starting centerfielder.

The good news for us Met fans is that it leaves Juan Rivera and Xavier Nady still in play — 2 of about 5 guys I’d rather have than Crisp. Including Angel Pagan at this point…

One helluvan afternoon!

In chronological order:

* New York Governor Elliot Spitzer has resigned. Will Marlon Anderson change his uniform number again?

* Andy Pettite was scratched from his start today because of elbow tendonitis. The Yankees say it’s not serious. If he goes down for any kind of extended period, they’re in Barney…

* The Yankees and Rays have resumed hostilities and I mean that literally. After Joe Girardi’s histrionics during Catchergate over the weekend, he came off looking like a crybaby. Apparently, the Rays think so, too. Today’s emergency starter Heath Phillips (see above) plunked TB rookie Evan Longoria on the shoulder in the first and was immediately ejected. So in the top of the second, Shelley (Sandy) Duncan hits a blooper to left and tries to leg it into a double. Trouble is, he’s out by 35 feet and comes in spikes high. This apparently irks Rays RF Johnny Gomes, who comes galloping in and coldcocks Duncan. Next thing you know, there was a real pier 6 brawl going on at second base.

* Ed Coleman called into the ‘FAN to report a wild rumor in Port St. Lucie that the Mets have traded Angel Pagan to Boston for Coco Crisp.

* Nobody on the ‘FAN could figure out if the Dayton/St. Louis A-10 Tournament game was still going on or not. Originally it was announced as a 58-53 Dayton victory in regulation — except that what really happened was that Dayton won 63-61 in overtime.

It’s great time to be alive!

“In the beginning, I misunderstood
But now I’ve got it
The word is good”
– John Lennon, 1965

The good word is from one Mr. Pedro Martinez (I suppose there must be more than one Pedro Martinez, but I’m only talking about this particular one). In a simulated game, Pedro went 4 innings, threw 59 pitches was touched up for an RBI double by Carlos Beltran — more good words there, it would seem.

Of course, when I wanted to hear some discussion of this yesterday afternoon, the intrepid Mike and the Mad Dog didn’t even know he was pitching. Apparently, they don’t pay attention to their own updates.

Dog: “I would like to see Pedro in a game sometime soon.”

Mike: “I thought he was supposed to pitch today. Eddie, did he pitch today? Yeah, he did. Simulated game.”

Dog: “Oh, really? Well, he’s gotta get in a game soon…”

Ah well… They’re probably still smarting from the “Jim Incident.” For those of you who don’t know, big Mike got into a pissing match with a ‘FAN techie – ON THE AIR! (BTW, I understand that none of what Mike thought got on the air actually got on the air.) This was picked up by one of my favorite websites, of course, and then Neil Best got in on it. This one might have some legs.

Anyway, I got no relief at the other end of the dial. Don LaGrecca was filling in for Michael Kay — thank God for small favors — on ESPN 1050 and all he could talk about was whether it was a good idea to have the last event at Yankee Stadium be a hockey game and the Mets should sign Barry Bonds. For the record, I think that first thing would be kinda cool — though I’d prefer the last thing I see at Oldish Yankee Stadium be the Mets dogpiling — and I’m vehemently opposed to the latter.

Oliver Perez goes vs. the O’s today — theat’s pronounced “Ohs”, not “zeros,” though I could understand the confusion…